Valentine's Day, NCLEX, and Marriage

For months leading up to Valentine's Day, I'd been dreaming of pink and red crafts, red velvet cupcakes, chocolate sugar cookies...and the list could go on (like to this or this).

However, when Valentine's day finally came around, I hadn't made any of the above listed items. In fact, I felt lucky to simply snag a package of 99-cent metallic heart confetti from the grocery store. Oh well. At least I learned something: warm and fuzzy Valentine's Day type feelings don't exactly envelop you the day before you take NCLEX. So don't schedule it for February 15th.

I spent V-day day studying, trying to relax by taking walks outside, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and failing miserably to nap. But the day wasn't completely terrible! Pete and I planned and made a nice dinner together: grilled garlic chicken atop whole wheat pasta with homemade alfredo sauce, garlic rolls, salad, and green beans. We finished our V-day with a nice Family Home Evening which included video-chatting with Brian and Ashley, a nice pre-NCLEX blessing for me, and an early bed-time. 

The next morning, although he slept even worse than I did, my sweet husband not only woke up early with me, but drove me to the NCLEX testing center in Draper and back home after the test. I think it cut my anxiety in half to have him chatting with me the whole way there---encouraging me and also distracting me from my anxiety. Walking out of the testing center to him (and the post-test treats he snagged for me) was even better. I was so grateful that when he could have slept in on his morning off work, he chose to do something he probably viewed as very simple, but something that was a great service to me.

Hopefully in the years to come, Valentine's Day will be a more relaxing, fun holiday. Because of this year, I also hope it will serve as a reminder to me of what love and marriage is all about---giving to and serving each other. Perhaps this will prompt me to have more important V-day (and everyday) aspirations in addition to an extravagant mass of pink and red crafts/food :)

"Some think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but true marriage is based on a happiness which is more than that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness."

-Spencer W. Kimball, Oneness in Marriage, Liahona, Oct. 2002

(Oh...and I passed NCLEX:)

Still enjoying the journey...

Caitlin, me, Karli at our pseudo-graduation in August--right before the start of our last semester

Well, I thought I should follow up on my previous post about making the most out of my last semester, because now it's halfway through! As predicted, the days are going by speedily. Projects and papers are underway and I’ve only got 558 of the 1500 NCLEX questions left to go. Also, after 6 or 7 more hospital shifts, all my clinical hours will be done!

Honestly, the hardest thing about this semester has been clinical (and probably the paper I should be writing right now instead of this). I don’t know whether being pregnant has something to do with it or not, but waking up at 5am, driving an hour to clinical, spending 12-14 hours at the hospital, then driving an hour home is just plain exhausting. Add in 12 hour night shifts--driving through stop-and-go traffic on the way home in the morning--and my body has come to know a whole new feeling of “tired.” Taking turns closing each eye one at a time to try to relieve the constant desire to close both, hitting myself in the face, calling my mom to talk to me, and smacking the muscles of my hands and legs to keep them from shutting down are all methods I’ve used to cope with the exhaustion on the drive home from a night shift. Ultimately, I’ve come to know that there is nothing better than crawling into bed after being up all night.

Luckily, I have several things that keep me motivated and many beautiful reminders of how good life is and how blessed I am to be having these opportunities. For example, when my sick patient barely at talking age has been in the hospital long enough to know her medications by name, I have new determination to handle 12 hours a couple times per week. Also, I couldn’t have asked for a better preceptor---her patience and teaching have definitely been a blessing this semester (check out her blog here!). Listening to the words and music of Mo-tab on my way to the hospital remind me what nursing (and life) is all about, and the hot dinner and big hug Pete has waiting for me when I get home at 9pm make it possible to do it all over again the next day. The beautiful red and gold colors I see creeping over the mountainside on my way to a night shift remind me how fast time passes and how soon this time of my life will be over.

Better enjoy it while I can!

VA clinical group and instructor ---Winter Semester 2009



Nursing peers and dean at the Sigma Theta Tau 5k---Fall Semester 2009

Finding Joy in the Journey---Now

Well, it's almost time. I’m about to embark on the last semester of my undergraduate career. The semester officially started Monday, but for me, all classes are on Thursday. Besides the emphasis this semester on Public Health Nursing, I will be completing my Capstone project which entails 210 clinical hours at a hospital with a “nurse preceptor” (basically, a nurse, that I work with at the hospital), a scholarly paper, and a project. I will be doing my hours at Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake. While I’m not looking forward to the hour drive from Provo, it will definitely be worth it. In doing my Pediatric clinical there a year ago, I fell in love with the hospital and the Infant Medical Surgical Unit—the same unit on which I get to do my capstone hours!

Primary Children's has a different feel than normal hospitals. Colorful children’s artwork covers the walls and there’s cute, seasonal, kid-oriented décor everywhere. A happy and hopeful atmosphere radiates there. The first time I walked through the hospital, I saw a nurse coming out of a patient’s room and the nurse immediately spoke into his phone “Hey, I need to find a way to get a Play Station up here,” as if it was a vital medication. Right from the start, I knew Primary Children’s hospital was special.

Yesterday, to ease myself into the school year and the crowds of people, I made the trek up to campus to do a few errands. I picked up an academic calendar—the same one printed by BYU that I purchase each Fall Semester. On the first page of the planner, there’s a quote by President Thomas S. Monson:

“Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details. Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes…I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.”

The moment I read this, while walking down the hill from campus, I silently declared it my motto for the semester. I want to leave BYU feeling like I took advantage of all opportunities. I want to make sure I gleaned everything possible from each small learning experience. I’m feeling the significance of being done with school soon, finding a job in the real world, and many other big changes that life is about to throw at me. What better counsel is there to follow than from the living prophet?

So here’s to early morning drives, to lots of 12 hour shifts, to my umpteen page scholarly paper, to 4 hour classes and weekly quizzes, to bazillions of NCLEX prep questions, and to hours of reading and studying. Here's to learning how to really be a nurse, to my last semester of college, and to finding joy in this journey.