Christmas Countdown {student style}

One of my favorite Christmas activities was a "12 days of Christmas" countdown that my family did for Pete and I one year. They gave us a big box full of small gifts with numbers on them and each day we got to open one of the presents. The gifts were so cute and creative, correlating well with the days of the week. For example, on Friday night we got popcorn and a movie, on Monday night we opened a talk from a General Authority and packets of hot chocolate (for FHE). It really made that childhood "magic" of Christmas come back into my somewhat adult life and ever since that Christmas, Pete and I have wanted to do it for someone else. When my friend Marie (who's hubby is in school with mine) told me about a similar idea she was doing for her husband--- a "4 Days of Finals" countdown---I couldn't help but catch the countdown bug and copy her :) 

This week was finals week, so each day for four days, I put a little gift/treat on Pete's desk...sometimes it would be there when he woke up in the morning, sometimes it made its appearance in the middle of the day...I had to keep him on his toes, ya know? All in all, it was super fun for me to surprise Pete with some of his favorite treats, and I hope it was a nice boost for him during a tough week.

And...I'm Done!

Two weeks ago my brain was doing the standard “shutting down” that annoyingly always happens to me right before the end of a semester (when it would actually be semi-appropriate). All I could think about was Christmas trees, decorations, family, upcoming baby, cookies (?)…well, basically my mind was thinking of everything but finishing up my last papers and assignments.

Then I had a little moment.

I thought: After the bell rings at 2:50 pm on Thursday, Dec. 9, 2010, I will never sit in a classroom in the SWKT again—in fact, I may never go back to school again. My BYU student computer log-in will expire and I will not have ready access to loads of knowledge at my fingertips. My student ID will expire and I will no longer check out books from the Harold B. Lee Library... 

and then I was sad.

Don't get me wrong...nursing school is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done at my ripe old age of 22 and I am so excited to be done!

But change is hard for me.

The thing I’ve been thinking about the most lately in regards to finishing school is how much of a mind-and-body stretching experience it has been and how blessed I was to have the support and encouragement of wonderful family and friends to help me through it. As I've pondered on the last 4.5ish years of college, I can't help but think of a few extremely key people that really influenced my decision to be a nurse and my ability to get through school.

So thanks, Mom…

• For bringing me down to college as a nervous new freshman
• For letting me call you after almost every test I took in my pre-requisite classes and joining in my joy or frustration.
• For always reminding me that it wasn’t the end of the world.
• For letting me phone you this semester during my morning drives all the way home from a night shift when you were probably busy making breakfast and getting 5 other kids off to school…or work (just kidding dad)
• For sending me little packages and notes in the mail
• For praying for me and believing I could succeed.

Thanks, Dad…

• For being proud of me.
• For always pushing me to be my best.
• For driving down to Provo my freshman year to pick me up and bring me home when I couldn't find a ride at Christmas.
• For being a hard worker and helping me financially those first couple years.
• For giving me the “Biggest Loser” money that you won, so I could buy a bike.
• For listening to my nursing stories and being interested in my life.

and thanks, Peter…

• For not being (outwardly) annoyed at my long hours spent in the library during our dating days
• For making numerous trips up to campus to bring me my forgotten assignments from my (and later, our) apartment :)
• For putting up with a tired wife after clinical
• For the countless breakfasts/lunches/dinners you've packed or cooked for me
• For waking up to drive me to school on snowy mornings when you could have just slept in instead. Even more, for getting me to class on time (even when that meant standing at the door announcing “your ride will leave in 30 seconds” while I’m simultaneously trying to brush my teeth and put my shoes on).
• For joining in my joys and frustrations
• For keeping me laughing and having fun through it all. I especially liked the Nursing Diagnosis you formulated for me: "Failure to hang out with your husband"

So what now?

The plan is to have a wonderful Christmas break in Nyssa, then study like crazy and take PASS my nursing boards in February. Next, I will exchange backpack for diaper bag and prepare for life's next task...being a mom. I'm pretty sure this will be much harder than nursing school...and as far as I know there's no graduation. 
Ever. 

This Spring, our little family will be moving to...somewhere...where we will get settled, and I will find some part time work while Pete goes to Physical Therapy school (He got accepted at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska and Loma Linda University in Califonia! We'll see where else he gets in and make a decision from there).

4 years ago...

Fall 2006

The morning I left home to go to Provo. This picture makes me cringe (because I look absolutely terrible) and laugh (because everyone looks so young and Wyatt's trying to be cross-eyed).

Fall 2006

On BYU campus "studying" Geology with roommate Brooklyn.

Fall 2006

Same Geology book a few weeks later. When I learned how studying really was (exhausting).

Fall 2006

In Nutrition 100 with friends Yoko and Sabrina. This was one of my first college classes. 

(And this may have been the day I met a boy named Peter)

And NOW!

August 2010

Still enjoying the journey...

Caitlin, me, Karli at our pseudo-graduation in August--right before the start of our last semester

Well, I thought I should follow up on my previous post about making the most out of my last semester, because now it's halfway through! As predicted, the days are going by speedily. Projects and papers are underway and I’ve only got 558 of the 1500 NCLEX questions left to go. Also, after 6 or 7 more hospital shifts, all my clinical hours will be done!

Honestly, the hardest thing about this semester has been clinical (and probably the paper I should be writing right now instead of this). I don’t know whether being pregnant has something to do with it or not, but waking up at 5am, driving an hour to clinical, spending 12-14 hours at the hospital, then driving an hour home is just plain exhausting. Add in 12 hour night shifts--driving through stop-and-go traffic on the way home in the morning--and my body has come to know a whole new feeling of “tired.” Taking turns closing each eye one at a time to try to relieve the constant desire to close both, hitting myself in the face, calling my mom to talk to me, and smacking the muscles of my hands and legs to keep them from shutting down are all methods I’ve used to cope with the exhaustion on the drive home from a night shift. Ultimately, I’ve come to know that there is nothing better than crawling into bed after being up all night.

Luckily, I have several things that keep me motivated and many beautiful reminders of how good life is and how blessed I am to be having these opportunities. For example, when my sick patient barely at talking age has been in the hospital long enough to know her medications by name, I have new determination to handle 12 hours a couple times per week. Also, I couldn’t have asked for a better preceptor---her patience and teaching have definitely been a blessing this semester (check out her blog here!). Listening to the words and music of Mo-tab on my way to the hospital remind me what nursing (and life) is all about, and the hot dinner and big hug Pete has waiting for me when I get home at 9pm make it possible to do it all over again the next day. The beautiful red and gold colors I see creeping over the mountainside on my way to a night shift remind me how fast time passes and how soon this time of my life will be over.

Better enjoy it while I can!

VA clinical group and instructor ---Winter Semester 2009



Nursing peers and dean at the Sigma Theta Tau 5k---Fall Semester 2009

Confessions.

*I left a pen in my scrubs top pocket and consequently, our white clothing came out of the dryer splotched with blue. Again.

*I recently realized that I left my lunch box at school last week. If it’s not lost, I really hope its contents--the remnants of my chili and sour cream baked potato--are.

*I bought The Hunger Games on Friday night and finished the third book today.



*The other night, I locked myself in the bathroom and tried to hear the baby’s heartbeat with my stethoscope. After I’ve been making fun of Pete all these weeks. Turns out I was right…it doesn’t work.

*I haven’t done the prep reading for tomorrow’s class yet.

*Today I felt an extreme moral need to consume veggies and actually had to pep talk myself through two raw carrots.

*I had to drive to every corner of Provo today looking for black gel food coloring. And then I may have gotten a hopefully-not-permanent stain on my countertop.

*Last week I ate potatoes for four days in a row. And I loved it. And I want more.

*I got a speeding ticket about a month ago and completely forgot about how I was supposed to go to Traffic School last Saturday (for which I paid $40 extra on top of the ticket).

*This morning after brushing my hair, I realized that my hair felt kind of gritty. Then I noticed the toothpaste on my hairbrush. (HOW did that happen?!)

Really, I sometimes wonder how I make it through the day.

On the bright side…Pete seemed to merely laugh at the blue splotched under clothing (is that not incredible?). I might be able to retrieve the lunchbox in the lost and found; now that I finished the third book in the Hunger Games series, normal life can resume; I get to buy a new hairbrush; my black and white spider-web frosted cookies look AWESOME; my sleep schedule will be adequately thrown off to ease me into my night shift on Friday, and as follow-up to the carrots…I actually ate a (potato-free) green salad for dinner tonight and loved it. What do ya know? After a brief first trimester retreat, the veggies may be making a comeback.

As evidenced by this picture (not).





And just for fun...here's me freezing in my apartment (because my husband prefers an arctic climate) doing hundreds of practice ATI questions.



I promise...my next post will be a more positive one :)


(Good thing I have an extra scrub top!)

Finding Joy in the Journey---Now

Well, it's almost time. I’m about to embark on the last semester of my undergraduate career. The semester officially started Monday, but for me, all classes are on Thursday. Besides the emphasis this semester on Public Health Nursing, I will be completing my Capstone project which entails 210 clinical hours at a hospital with a “nurse preceptor” (basically, a nurse, that I work with at the hospital), a scholarly paper, and a project. I will be doing my hours at Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake. While I’m not looking forward to the hour drive from Provo, it will definitely be worth it. In doing my Pediatric clinical there a year ago, I fell in love with the hospital and the Infant Medical Surgical Unit—the same unit on which I get to do my capstone hours!

Primary Children's has a different feel than normal hospitals. Colorful children’s artwork covers the walls and there’s cute, seasonal, kid-oriented décor everywhere. A happy and hopeful atmosphere radiates there. The first time I walked through the hospital, I saw a nurse coming out of a patient’s room and the nurse immediately spoke into his phone “Hey, I need to find a way to get a Play Station up here,” as if it was a vital medication. Right from the start, I knew Primary Children’s hospital was special.

Yesterday, to ease myself into the school year and the crowds of people, I made the trek up to campus to do a few errands. I picked up an academic calendar—the same one printed by BYU that I purchase each Fall Semester. On the first page of the planner, there’s a quote by President Thomas S. Monson:

“Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details. Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes…I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.”

The moment I read this, while walking down the hill from campus, I silently declared it my motto for the semester. I want to leave BYU feeling like I took advantage of all opportunities. I want to make sure I gleaned everything possible from each small learning experience. I’m feeling the significance of being done with school soon, finding a job in the real world, and many other big changes that life is about to throw at me. What better counsel is there to follow than from the living prophet?

So here’s to early morning drives, to lots of 12 hour shifts, to my umpteen page scholarly paper, to 4 hour classes and weekly quizzes, to bazillions of NCLEX prep questions, and to hours of reading and studying. Here's to learning how to really be a nurse, to my last semester of college, and to finding joy in this journey.

Done with Spring classes!

Yesterday, I woke up and studied.
And studied.
And completed part 1 of a test
and studied more.
Then I completed part 2 of a test
and studied more.
Then I completed part 1 of another test
and studied more.
And with minimal breaks, I studied until 11:30.
Then I woke up at 6:30 and studied more.
Then I went to campus to take the last part of my last test.
At 10 am I completed said test.

When I walked out of my classroom and started walking home, I swear the air smelled different.
Summer. Finally.

I texted Peter with a big "Wooooooooooooooooooooo! I'm done! It's summer!"
And then I smiled the whole way home.

The remainder of the summer will be devoted to family and my herbs.
End of Story.

What I planned on posting a month ago...

1. Pete not only achieved a 4.0 GPA this semester at BYU, he graduated!!

2. I’m growing herbs. Better yet, the herbs are destined not to be a complete failure as manifested by a tiny green speck I discovered emerging from the soil today. I was talking to Pete on the phone at the time. I stopped talking midsentence and our conversation went something like this:

Steph: (stunned) Oh my gosh!

pause.

Pete: What?

Steph: I can’t believe my eyes!

Pete: What?

Steph: (happy noise resembling a squeal).

Pete: Wife, what?

Steph: My herb sprouted!

Pete: (sigh) Oh. I thought our house was on fire or something.

3.Despite feeling a little sad these past two days as I was surrounded by excited nursing school peers heading off to their spring term adventures in various places around the globe (Ghana, Ecuador, Tonga, etc.), my Spring is going to be good. Although I’m staying here and getting my “cultural” experience in the area of complementary and alternative therapies/integrative healing (my teacher is still debating if that is actually a culture or not), I’m going to have a good experience. This was impressed upon me today as I sat alone in the Nursing Learning Center reading about chakras, auras, and energy fields in my textbook entitled “Complementary and Alternative Therapies for Nursing Practice.”

In all honesty, I teeter on the fence of skepticism—not fully embracing alternative therapies and not fully turning completely away from them. But I think learning and understanding these different modalities will be a good thing in my life as I try to help others. I must admit/confess that I was getting pretty into my reading today…before you know it I might be getting myself some essential oils. More on my experiences will come later—and probably quotes from Glenda, my teacher, because she’s hilarious. Today during class she literally jumped up and down yelling “I’m so excited” over and over again. She also danced around the classroom in an effort to demonstrate how energy should flow through a room.

4. Pete and I are going to Washington this week and staying with his family. This means not only do I get to hang out with family, stuff my face with all kinds (and I mean all kinds) of delicious food, we get to go to the Vancouver B.C. Temple Dedication! I’m really excited and think this will be a great experience. Most of Pete’s other brothers will also be there too, which leads to my next item…

5. My New Favorite Couple. Brian and Ashley are perhaps the greatest people ever. They met in Pathophysiology class and have been dating for about 4 months now I think. It’s so fun to hang out with Pete’s brothers now and actually have another female around—and not just any female, an awesome one! Ashley is so nice and funny and really genuine. The two of them are so cute together. It’s so fun to be around them and to feel how good of people they are and how much they like each other.

Since Finals week is just around the corner, I've been thinking a lot about books. No, not textbooks--i'm talking books that I actually ENJOY reading (like novels and such). During finals week I always read a book. It's a little thing that keeps my soul alive and offers a glimpse of what life can and will be like after all the dreaded finals. There's only so much time that can be devoted to study during finals week. The rest is for reading good stuff (and, of course, cooking).

Some of my favorite book quotes...

(Disclaimer: I sometimes find significance in the words of Dumbledore and even Twilight's Bella.
So shoot me. Maybe this summer I will work on reading more high-quality literature. Until then, this is as good as it gets)

“…something in her own unique mind had roused the powers within her…a beauty neither of fine colour nor long eyelash, nor penciled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of radiance. Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what source I cannot tell…”
-Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

"...In every important way we are such secrets from each other, and I do believe that there is a separate language in each of us, also a separate aesthetics and a separate jurisprudence. Every single one of us is a little civilization built on the ruins of any number of preceding civilizations, but with our own variant notions of what is beautiful and acceptable.
-Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson


“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
-Dumbledore


This was my happy era now. But I was surprised to realize how many things I missed from my own personal dark ages.”
-Bella.


"There is no justice in love, no proportion in it, and there need not be, because in any specific instance it is only a glimpse or parable of an embracing, incomprehensible reality. It makes no sense at all because it is the eternal breaking in on the temporal."
-Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson

A couple days ago I was a yoga-doing, herbal tea-sipping woman reading in bed about Rembrandt.

What happened to the stressed out Nursing Student?

Well, she re-surfaced the next day. Don't worry.

I just wanted the world and myself to know that I am capable of doing cool things like Yoga and reading for Humanities.

This semester seems as though it will be intense, but it really hasn't picked up yet (hence the reason I have time to post). I am loving my D&C class, Humanities 202 class, and surprisingly...my Psychiatric Nursing Class! Acute Care (ICU) class is okay so far--after all, any class that is three hours long is hard to love. Back to Psych: I am doing my clinicals at the University of Utah Neuropsychiatric Institute (UNI) in Salt Lake. Each week I dread waking up at 5 am and am less than happy to be going, but then I go to clinical and LOVE it!

This past week for an assignment we did a video-taped role play. I acted out the role of a psychiatric nurse counseling with another student playing the role of patient with a mental disorder. The point of the assignment was to work on communication skills. Sounds easy enough, huh? Well, that's what I thought too so I didn't study or prepare beyond glancing at a sheet of "therapeutic communication skills."

It turns out that watching and evaluating the recording with my teacher was the longest, most drawn-out 8 minutes I've had in a while.

Painful.
Embarrassing.

I remember vividly the TWO times my teacher made a positive comment (I'm proud to say that I'm somewhat capable of doing a suicide assessment and asking an open-ended question. yay.)

As my teacher talked to me and gave examples of how to communicate with psych patients--how to dig deeper and get to the root of their problems, I realized that communication is an art...one that I need to practice.

To demonstrate, my teacher asked me questions and I pretended to be the patient, I was amazed at how AWESOME she was at communicating. By the end of the little demonstration I almost believed that I WAS depressed and thinking about OD'ing on Ibuprofen (really just kidding).

So communication has been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe there'll be more on that later. And maybe I'll start reading for Psych class.