Letter to Emery (life the past three weeks)

Dear Emery,

You are over three weeks old as I write this! Time is going by fast, but slow at the same time. You are beautiful! Every time I look at your tiny little face, fingers, and toes I am amazed at how perfect they are. I am even more amazed that you are mine! However, I try to keep in mind where you came from---that you are truly a daughter of Heavenly Father.

cute little toes :)

 It's funny how almost anything you do is wonderful to us! Your dad and I could hold you for hours and be entertained simply by the funny faces you make in your sleep.

Dad laughing at your funny sleeping faces

For the most part, you have been a happy baby. I feel lucky and hope this continues! For your first week of life, my mom (your grandma) and the rest of the Jensen family came down to help us out. I don't think we would have survived without them! Having them make us meals, clean, do laundry, and help us get to appointments was life saving. After the Jensen fam left (and just when I was starting to subsist on cheerios daily), Grandma Hoyt showed up to help! What a blessing. It has been fun having you meet so many family members---everyone adores and loves you so much.

Emery and Grandma Hoyt

In the past few weeks I have felt overwhelming joy, love, and peace. However, I've also felt some physical pain, emotional stress and anxiety, and quite honestly, some grief regarding the loss of the way my life used to be. It's a big change to go from being spontaneous and free to living in a 4 hour cycle in which I sleep night and day, wear sweats and pajamas around the clock (when my incision was still a bit tender for jeans), am pretty confined to the house (unless the weather is nice outside and we go for a walk!), and ultimately my time, my life, my world revolves around one thing: you. I'm realizing that my life used to pretty much revolve around me. So far, motherhood has been a great lesson in unselfishness.

Some highlights from the past week: bath time! Well...sponge-bath time! At first you weren't too sure how you liked being bathed. We've found that as long as we keep it quick, you don't mind a bit. Your umbilical cord fell off yesterday though, so you'll be getting real baths now! You are also learning to nurse better (thankfully), and are gaining weight well! At your two week appointment you were up to 6lbs 11 oz! Still small...7th percentile in fact...but the doc said that's really good for you :) Take heart, though, your head size was in the 25th percentile---so at least your brain is good-sized. Also at your two week appointment, you were the unhappy recipient of one heel stick (PKU test), one shot, and a frenotomy (you were a bit tongue-tied, so they clipped the frenulum holding your tongue down). Let's just say it's a good thing the nurse left the room quickly after all of this because you weren't the only one that was teary-eyed! I was surprised at how hard it was for me to watch you be in pain.

Bath time!

Well, I've discovered that the key for me these past three weeks has been to take it one day at a time...one feeding at a time...one nap at a time. Being a mom is beautiful and I've had distinct feelings that it's definitely the most important thing I can do with my life---and it's what I want to do more than anything else! I'm trying to focus on just enjoying every minute of you, because everyone tells me you'll grow up too fast, that this newborn stage will pass too soon. In the meantime, know that you are wonderful, a miracle. Let's continue learning and growing together. I'll keep writing.

Love,

Mom