The Big Sister

I was really nervous with how Emery was going to handle having another little one around. However, I am pleasantly surprised at how well things have been going. Not like it has been easy...there are hard days, stressful moments, and honestly, everyday is tired. I look forward each day to when Pete gets home and can help; but overall, we are so happy! Emery is super sweet and adores her little brother. There are several things that have really helped with the transition to having our new little guy around, and I want to remember them:

1) This was nothing we did obviously, but it really helped that many of Emery's friends got little brothers in the months leading up to having Cameron. We talked A LOT about her friends getting new babies, and how she was going to too, and how it would be so fun and he'd be so cute, etc. We also talked about things that might be different when the baby came ("when we have your little brother, you'll have to walk up the stairs by yourself because Mom will have to carry the baby," etc.). I tried to keep it all very positive.

2) In the hospital, Cameron "gave" Emery a present to open. (Pete wrapped a present for Emery and we talked up how great it was going to be, how nice and sweet her little brother was for getting her a present, etc.). She loved the little baby doll she received from Cam, and right away that helped her think and feel kind feelings toward Cameron.

3) Shortly after we had Cameron, our friends let us borrow their book, entitled "I'm a Big Sister!" It talked about a girl named Ellie, and all the things she got to do now that she was a big sister as well as the things that were different between she and the baby. (side note: I love teaching Emery things through books---about sharing, having a new baby around, being nice to friends, etc.) She loved the "big sister" book and I really think it helped her feel special and like she had some control over the whole situation. For a while, anything she did to help, such as getting me a burp cloth, walking up the stairs by herself, carrying a little bag of groceries for me, "holding" Cameron, getting a binky or diaper, etc. it was "Because I'm a BIG SISTER!"

Eventually, "Because I'm a big sister!" became her answer to everything...

A friend: "Wow, Emery, you're swimming in the pool by yourself!"
(with a life jacket and water wings)
Emery: "Yep, 'cause I'm a big sister!"

Me: "Wow, Emery, you're getting really good picking up your toys."
Emery: "Yep, 'cause I'm a big sister!"

4) While I was pregnant, I decided I was going to be extremely patient with Emery in those first couple months after having Cameron and I was going to expect the worst from her: major meltdowns, sleep problems, jealousy issues, regression, etc. and that I would try really hard to avoid power struggles between us. So far, we haven't had (crossing fingers) any big problems with the things I was afraid of. However, having two kids does require more patience on my part, so I'm glad I mentally geared myself up for that. It was so nice to talk to friends who recently had their second child and hear their advice.

5) Lots of help. Oh man. What would I have done without Pete taking a few days off clinical? Without my mom coming for a week-and-a-half? Without Pete's sister coming to visit and all the friends that helped so much with meals and Emery? In the entire first month of Cam's life, I spent a grand total of 4 days by myself. It was glorious. Emery had all the attention she wanted from loving friends and family, I kept from feeling too overwhelmed, and the biggest bonus: I got to spend lots of time cuddling and bonding with my new little one instead of running around trying to meet the needs of both kiddos from the get-go.

Emery is so excited for Cameron to grow up. One of the funnier, unexpected things was her confusion about him not being able to do certain things. She'd go talk to him in a sweet voice, her face about 2 inches away from his, and then give me a confused look and say, "Mom, he's not talking." Or she'd show him a cool "trick" and when his reaction was less than satisfactory, she'd say "Mom, he's not clapping!" We talk about how he will be able to do a lot more things as he grows up and that seems to put her at ease again. Funny girl! Having Cameron has also really strengthened Emery's relationship with her dad...they have had way more time together since I'm often nursing Cam or putting him to sleep.

We are just loving the way our little family is growing and all the fun stuff that comes along with it!